Guilty
by BensonTough
Summary: Returning from being undercover at Sealview, everyone is worried about Olivia, however she faces her biggest challenge yet. Slight E/O. My first Fan Fiction so please be kind!
1. Chapter 1

My first fan fiction

My first fan fiction.

"**Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" is a Wolf Films production in association with NBC Universal Television Studio. Wolf, is creator and executive producer, Ted Kotcheff and Peter Jankowski are executive producers.**

_**I do not own any of the SVU characters, this is merely what I would like to see as a sequel episode to "Undercover". Any characters you do not recognize are my own.**_

" NOOOOOOOO!! HELP !! LET GO OF ME...LET GO OF ME!! Olivia sobs, as Harris cuffs her right hand to the door and begins to unzip his pants.

"You bite me, and you're dead.", he says menacingly, as Olivia turns her head away and bites her lip, praying that this would be over soon enough. He breathes heavily and fidgets with his pants, while tears stream down her frightened face.

She sobs as he begins forcefully turning her head so that she is face level with his crotch, and she helplessly screams "NOOOOO!"

SUV SQUADROOM

Olivia stares at pictures of Harris in the file folder on her desk. She is so engrossed in the memory of what happened that she doesn't hear Elliott come up next to her desk.

"Need a lift?", he sympathetically asks, as he leans over her desk.

"No thanks, I'm gonna stay awhile", she says, as she wipes her tired eyes and tries to concentrate on putting this sicko behind bars.

"You'll get Harris," Elliott says softly as Olivia tucks her brown bangs behind her ear.

" For excessive force, at best, more likely he'll be transferred and promoted" she says disappointingly, knowing all to-well that Lowell Harris' face is stuck in the minds of his previous victims, terrorizing their minds everyday, and now he was stuck in hers.

Elliott looked at her, concerned as to how this undercover operation had affected her, both mentally and physically. The large bruise on the left side of her jaw spoke volumes of what she had endured, but he knew there was more…more detail, more pain, beneath the tough exterior she attempted to hide behind.

" Is he already back at work?!" Elliott says, shocked that the warden at Sealview would let that monster return to work so quickly.

"Yeah…..," Olivia replies, her voice trailing off slightly, as she looked into Elliott's eyes and hoped that her own beautiful brown eyes hid the pain and torture she felt during this hellish ordeal. She turned away and sighed, and Elliott kept staring at her, wanting her to let him in, let him in on her pain, let him take some of the burden off of her. He nervously chewed on his bottom lip, not knowing what his next loaded question had in store, and if he really wanted to know the truth.

" What happened in the basement," he softly and quietly asked, hoping that she would trust him, rely on him, confide in him and let him ease any emotion she was hiding.

Olivia slowly looked up from her paperwork, trying to decide on how to answer, started to speak, then stopped, shook her head and replied, "Nothing… I'm fine El,", her eyes never meeting his, an intentional act of not letting him see her suffer.

Elliott continued to look at her, knowing there was more than that, but she had him stone-walled, and wasn't about to let him in on her experience. They were partners, yes, and had shared many things, but this was too personal. This was too emotional, too strong for her to hold onto right now, and if she told him, she'd seem weak and defeated. She would be a victim, and that was one thing that she would never be. She would never be a monsterous perps victim, she was a survivor, and she was the one the other victims looked toward for comfort. She would not let him defeat her.

Medical Examiner's Office

Elliott escorted Lowell Harris out of the ME's office and met Fin in the hallway.

" Well, hello sunshine," Fin bitterly said to Harris, knowing this jerk got everything that was about to come to him. 20 years behind bars wasn't enough, considering Risa Tyler was dead, and her daughter is now alone, missing her mother, and to make matters worse, Ashley Tyler had to see Harris' face in her nightmares, the nightmare of what he did to her. Fin shuttered at the thought of what may have happened had he not found Harris and Olivia in time, and his heart went out to Liv…. He knew she was strong and new that she was the best of the best, but nothing prepares you to be in the victim's place, nothing prepares you for the certainty of getting raped.

" Fin, would you please take our new friend to a more comfortable place," Elliott said sarcastically.

" Sure thing, man…. I'd be happy to escort Harris here to his one room, windowless mansion… he'd better get used to being alone," Fin replied.

"Good, I'm gonna wait for Liv, we'll meet you back at the station," Elliott said.

Little did Olivia know that back at the medical examiner's office, where they had taken Harris for pictures of the evidence, Elliott had heard her conversation with Melinda. He waited outside the door, trying not to listen, but a relieved, thankful sigh escaped him when he heard what Olivia had said.

" Olivia…", Melinda asked slowly, looking at Liv, hoping she would spare the tough exterior she put forth and give Melinda a truthful answer.

" Did he rape you?" the ME asked, not knowing if she really could stomach the honest truth, but hoping Olivia would open up to at least someone.

Tears formed behind Olivia's eyes, threatening to fall at the mere sound of the question, but she retained her composure.

"It's the closest I've ever come……" Olivia said softly, her words slightly trailing, not taking her eyes of Melinda. She wanted her, and everyone else to know, or at least think, that she was okay. Overhearing her answer, Elliott wanted to run into the room and hug her, comfort her in any way he could, even if she refused to let him feel for her. He waited a few more minutes as the two women discussed what the future trial had in store and that the evidence was more than enough to show that Ashley Tyler had been tramatized by Harris.

Elliott cautiously knocked on the door, and both of the women were a bit startled. He looked directly at Olivia, not taking his eyes off hers, seeing how they were watering from the emotion in the conversation. Melinda looked at the two of them, each of their gazes fixed on the other, and wondered what affect this very personal case would have on their partnership. Olivia swallowed hard, and looked away from Elliott, causing him to briefly wince at the fact that she would not tell him herself. He didn't want to read the report, read her statement, or hear what anyone else had to say. He wanted to hear it from her, from his friend, from his partner. She had had is back so many times in dangerous situations, and he wanted her to know that he had her back 110 of the time, no matter what was going on in her life. He didn't understand why it was so hard for her to let him in.

" Thank you, Melinda. We'll probably need you at the trial to discussed Ashley's TB case, and also as a witness to Harris' bodily evidence, but we'll certainly be in touch. Thanks again…… for everything," Olivia said, some-what relieved that she had let a bit of the emotion off her chest.

As Elliott and Olivia made their way back to the squad room, they walked silently, him just a few steps behind her. She took her coat off and draped it across her arm, preparing to sling it over her chair before sitting down to thumb through the mass amount of paperwork piling her desk. Elliott noticed how careful she tried to be when moving, how it seemed that every inch of her hurt, every muscle ached during the simplest maneuvers. Olivia quickly pulled the sleeves of her shirt down to cover the bruising, but not before Elliott could catch a glimpse of the pain Harris had caused her.

The bruise on her face did not hide her beauty, it only magnified her strength. Elliott wanted to tear Harris apart for that bruise alone, knowing that if he had been the one to find Harris with Olivia in the basement, he would be out of a job and Harris would be dead. He would have beaten that son of a bitch limb from limb. Yes, he had an anger problem, but Olivia, and no one else, had ever deserved what Harris' sick mind did to them. And Elliott wanted to be the first one to beat the hell out of Lowell Harris.

As the continued walking, he noticed a black and blue streak of broken blood vessels, situated on her lower back, which could only be seen on occasion, when her shirt moved away from her and failed to cover up her pain.

"My god….," he thought, when he imagined what else she was hiding under her clothes, what other cuts, bruises and reminders of her attack covered the rest of her body.

When they arrived at the squad room, everyone sympathetically looked at Olivia with concern on their faces. They knew she had endured something so violent, something that should have never happened, especially to one of their own, to their best of the best.

She carefully took a seat at her desk, cautiously lowering herself onto her chair so that she would not noticeably wince at the aches and pains. She was aware of everyone's gaze upon her, but acted like she didn't notice as she called Mercy General Hospital to check on Ashley Tyler. Elliott glanced at everyone while Liv attentively spoke to Ashley's nurse, and he shook his head at all of them as if to say, " not now, just let her be."

"Thank you, Kate, I appreciate your information on Ashley. Everyone will be glad to know that she is safe with a family member. Again, I thank you……okay……. Have a good day……… good-bye," Olivia softly spoke into the phone.

"Ashley has been released, and is currently in the care of her mother's aunt, and elderly woman by the name of Sylvia DuMont, who saw the story of Risa and Ashley on

TV and contacted Child Social Services about possibly caring for Ashley while she's recovering. Sylvia lives in Brooklyn, and has taken Ashley to her home, while DCFS will be checking up on them daily to see how Ashley is doing," Olivia softly announced to anyone who was listening, but she didn't look up from her paperwork.

She numbly stared at the face of Lowell Harris, and wondered why on earth this man had the nerve to smirk at her in the interrogation room, and flatly denied the fact that he had tried to rape her. She knew, it was his word against hers, but Fin was there just in time and Harris was not going to win this battle.

Casey Novak, the ADA trying the case on Harris, walks into the squad room and immediately notices a tense feeling among everyone there. She glances to Olivia, whose head is bent and her fingers numblessly thumbing through paperwork, and then she looks at Elliott. Her concerned look at Olivia meets Elliott's sympathetic gaze, and he abruptly turns back to looking at Olivia.

"We've got Harris on 2 other counts of excessive force, from working at Sealview alone, and with Ashley and the other victims testimonies, we should have that monster behind bars for at least 20 years, and I'm pushing for no parole. Since Risa is no longer able to testify, I'll need every warm body we can to put him away…." Casey Novak said, her voice trailing off as she looked at Olivia.

Benson didn't even both looking up at Casey, knowing she didn't want to look anyone in the face right now, the tears slowly forming behind her chocolate brown eyes.

"Putting Ashley on the stand should be more than enough to convict Harris of rape, not to mention the other two counts you have against him. I think you have plenty of evidence right there alone." Olivia said faintly.

Elliott and Casey both looked at Olivia with disbelief. They couldn't believe that she was actually saying that they had enough evidence, when they all knew that the more evidence against him, the better the chances of him being put away longer, especially without parole.

"Liv, you and I both know that the more we have on Harris, the easier it will be to get him the maximum sentence. I want to see him put away for as long as possible, and I will deny any mention of parole," Casey said matter-of-factly.

Casey caught a cautionary glance from Elliott, and she turned and walked out of the room.

Captain Cragen watched what was going on from his office, and quietly motioned for Fin and Munch to meet with him. The other two detectives joined Cragen in his office for a brief minute, then announced they were going to grab some lunch. The squad room quietly emptied out, leaving Benson and Stabler alone.

Elliott stared at Olivia, waiting for her to say something, to look up from that nightmare on paper. She sat quietly and didn't say anything, merely brushed her hair from her face and leaned her chin on her palm, still seeming to be reading the files against Harris.

He got up and walked over to her desk, grabbed a chair, turned it around backward and sat as close as to her as he possibly could. She noticed his movements, sniffed quietly, and lightly wiped away the tiny tear threatening to fall.

"Olivia……", he says compassionately.

"Elliott, just let me do my job," she says flatly.

"Liv, the last time I checked, it was our job to put these criminals behind bars. Any information or evidence that takes to put these sick jerks away is vital. You know that, and you know exactly what Casey needs from you. She needs you help testify against Harris, to make the case stronger," Elliott said gently, trying to be as soft as possible when he spoke, so that she would not feel like he was attacking her, forcing her to testify. He just wanted her to understand that she could help all of these victims by using her experience with Harris to put him behind bars.

"Elliott, don't. Don't patronize me," she said, as she got up from her chair, almost knocking his chair over as well. She walked toward the door, but he grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Last time I checked, I hadn't said a thing to you about court… I've been waiting for you to do what you know you need to do, Liv. You _have_ to talked to someone, you have to stop _hurting_," he said, pleading with her to face this experience and stop blaming herself.

"Come on, come back and just talk to me. You don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to, just please, please Liv…… I'm practically begging you to just _stop_, take a deep breath and _talk_…." His words trailed off, hoping she would comply and just sit and talk to him.

"Elliott..." Olivia says, slowly walking back to her desk, rubbing the ache in her back from being hit by the nightstick. She sat down, not knowing what to say or do, her heart racing. She couldn't talk to him about this, it was too personal. This was essentially too close for comfort.

"……could you please get me a glass of water?" she asked meekly, almost afraid to even ask for his help with that. He smiled at her, left the room for a brief moment, and returned with a bottle of water.

"Thank you," she said quietly, so quiet he could barely hear her speak. Then he realized that she was choking back tears and trying hard to hold onto whatever strength she currently had left.

She took a small sip of water and put her head in her hands, letting a small sob escape from her body. He took his seat at his backwards chair, next to hers, at her desk, and reached out to rub her back. She jumped at the touch of his hand on the middle of her back, not because of the pain, but because of the actual touch. She hadn't let anyone touch her since the basement….

Elliott immediately removed his hand, and a pange of hurt washed over him. He didn't mean to startle her, or scare her, but he just wished Olivia knew that he was there for her, no matter how horrible the situation may be.

She knew she had to testify….


	2. Chapter 2

SEQUEL TO GUILTY... I appreciate your reviews, but please be kind... I'm new to this so it might take some time to get things right! Also, I love SVU, but I'm not into an E/O romance, so I probably won't ever write one. Sorry if that disappoints anyone. I like their chemistry and sexual tension, but I don't ever believe it will happen. :o(

-- OH -- my friend Elliott spells his name with two "t's" so I know it's misspelled in the story but thanks for letting me know! :o)

"**Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" is a Wolf Films production in association with NBC Universal Television Studio. Wolf, is creator and executive producer, Ted Kotcheff and Peter Jankowski are executive producers.**

_**I do not own any of the SVU characters, this is merely what I would like to see as a sequel episode to "Undercover". Any characters you do not recognize are my own.**_

**--Olivia Benson's Apartment-- 4am**

She awoke, sweating and startled by the lound thunder and lightening that were lighting up her bedroom with booming sounds and forceful white light. She sat straight up and begn to orient herself to her surroundings. She checked to make sure her gun and shield were on her nightstand, along with her cell phone, and let out a sigh of relief that everything was in its place. As the lightening flashed, images from the basement took control in her head, and she saw his face, felt his hands and could hear his words. She shook her head as if to shake the incident from her memory, and tried not to let the imagery keep her down.

Olivia slowly got out of bed, wincing at the pain that escaped from her sore muscles and bruised body. She softly touched her jaw, the sight of the most notable evidence of her attack at Sealview, and drew her hand back when the pressure brought on pain that she wasn't quite ready for. She walked to the kitchen, switching on a lamp in the living room as she went, allowing the room to brighten with the soft glow. Olivia began to make a cup of coffee, quietly going about her routine, as if she would wake someone if she was too loud.

_Maybe I'm trying to not wake myself, _she thought. _Maybe if I don't wake up, I won't really be in this nightmare._

She made her way over to the couch and set down, carefully tucking her legs beneath her, careful not to anger any of her sore muscles or bruises. She delicately drapped a blanket over her legs, turnd on the television, and as she sipped her coffee, she let herself escape the challenges she would face today. As she absent mindedly flipped through the channels; informercials, early morning workout programs on Fit TV, the occasional rerun of an early 90's sitcom, she heard the faint beeping of her cell phone. Making her way back to the bedroom, she reached for her phone and saw the screen glow green with the words "_1 new message_". She ignored her phone and decided she would deal with it later. It was probably Elliot, and right now, she didn't want to think about him or anyone else at work.

She put her phone back on the nightstand, disregarding the message and not sending a reply. She made her way to the bathroom to take a shower and clear her head before it would be constantly reminded all day of her incident. She knew she should file charges, that any more evidence against Harris would make it easier for the jury to put him away, and it wasn't for her satisfaction alone. She thought of Ashley and Risa, and new that both of them deserved justice against this monster. The Tyler women had been through enough, and with Risa dead, Ashley deserved the peace of mind of knowing that Harris was behind bars.

_I will put him away forever, _she thought. _He may have spent his life in prison as an enforcer, but he will surely spend it as an inmate when I'm through with him._

Olivia let the moment of temporary strength subside, and climbed into the shower, letting the warm water sooth her aching muscles. As she let the water hit her face, her mind was overwhelmed with the feelings and thoughts of that basement.

_"You bite me, and you're dead", _she can hear Harris say. She remembers the sounds of him hitting his nightstick against the chainlink fence, against the boxes, against the walls while he was looking for her. She remembers the feeling of his hands on her, his mouth on hers, and she spits the running water out of her mouth to rid the memory of it all. As she washes her hair, her mind is flooded with everything that happened at Sealview. She wipes the water off of her face, softly aware that she is also wiping back tears.

**-- SUV Squadroom -- 7am**

When Elliot arrives for work, he is surprised to see Liv already at her desk, but then again he's not that surprised at all. She's devoted to her work and likes to get an early start, but she need time off... she needs to sleep.

"Good morning," he says cheerfully, hoping his pleasant mood could possibly make her day any better. He walked by her desk and set a cup a fresh coffee in front of her.

"Morning", she mumbled back, moving the coffee to the other side of her desk. She did not look at him, did not glance up from the paperwork she was diligently writing away on, and she did not make any notion that she even knew he existed.

Elliot sat down at his desk, and glanced around the empty squadroom. They were all alone, just he and Olivia. He sat at his desk and learned forward, clasping his hands together, but not daring to take his eyes off of her. Olivia could feel his blue eyes staring at her, but she didn't dare look up. She continued writing, not wanting to break her concentration. Elliot continued to look at her for awhile, then shrugged and began rummaging through his own pile of paperwork.

As other members of the squad filtered in, each of them glanced at the partners, sitting in silence, each in their own world, working on their own cases. Olivia worked away while the others watched her, she made phone calls, kept writing, and began typing into her computer. It had been over two hours since they had been in the squadroom together, and she still had not said a thing to Elliot. You could cut the tension with a knife.

"Olivia, may I see you for a brief moment," Captain Cragen called from his office doorway.

She made eye contact with no one, not even Elliot or Cragen, and somberly walked into this office as he closed the door behind them. Olivia was half confused, seeing as how Casey was already in Cragen's office.

"Olivia, I don't know where to begin," Casey said, sympathetically. "I'm not going to bother you about the case and I'm not going to make you do anything that you don't want to do, but I will ask you to think of the other victims. Think of how they feel and think of your compassion. You are the reason most of them have the courage to face their attackers." Olivia mumbled something, almost cutting Casey off.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you," Casey said softly.

Without looking up, Olivia said, "I am not a victim". She said it so softly, so meekly that she was barely undserstandable.

Tears slowly formed behind her eyes when she looked at Cragen, and his face softened. He walked over to her and put his arms on her elbows, her arms folded defensively in front of her. She sniffed her tears back and continued to look down, not meeting his fatherly gaze.

"Liv, we love you. We all love you. We know that you are not a victim. We are all very worried about you and we just want you to be safe, and happy and to do the right thing. Testifying against Harris will put more against him, especially because of your job. You and Harris have alot in common with your occupations, but you choose to use compassion and emotional strength in yours, whereas he sees it as an all-access pass to beat the pulp out of anyone who crosses him. Now Casey is hear to take your statement, and use your case against Harris. We all understand if you don't want to testify, but we also all want you to realize that you would be helping so many other people. You are strong, and Ashley Tyler will especially look toward you for strength," Cragen said softly, spoken with emotion but not with force. He was a kind man, a father figure to her, who put Olivia in her place when she needed it, but believed in her.

Casey looked at the both of them, held back the tears that were welling up her eyes too, afraid for Olivia, hating Harris and hoping that her friend would pull through. No one should ever have to endure the kinds of things that Harris was capable of doing to his victims, and especially not Olivia. She was too tough, too wonderful for his kind of hell.

"I...um...I, well, I can do it," Olivia stammered, the words barely able to escape her mouth. "I'll give you my statement, Casey, but then I don't want to have to repeat it for everyone everytime they ask. I'll give it to you, and then I don't want to be bothered about it until the trial," she said firmly, not angry, but soft and to the point. _I can do this, she thought_, I can _help Ashley and Risa, and god knows who else, by helping to put Lowell Harris behind bars._

Cragen looked at both of them, hugged Olivia, and quietly left his office, slowly closing the door behind him. He didn't want to make her more uncomfortable, and he wanted her at ease. She needed to relax and get her statement out, without anyone putting more pressure on her.

Elliot watched as Cragen walked out of his office, looked at him, half smiled and mouthed "_She'll be okay_," in his direction. Munch and Fin watched Elliot as he watched Cragen, looked back at each other and returned to their paperwork. They both new Liv would do the right thing, but they also both knew that what she had been through should never have happened, whether she insisted on going to Sealview or not. No one deserves that kind of pain, and especially not Olivia.


	3. Chapter 3

"Docket ending 8177, People v. Lowell Harris."

"How does the defendant plead?"

Harris' brown-nosing lawyer opened his mouth, and spoke sternly, "Not guilty."

"Bail?"

"The people request remand."

"Your Honor, my client is a decorated officer with no priors—", Harris' lawyer pleaded.

"Save it for the trial, Mr. Mason," the judge warned. "Bail is set at 100,000. Cash or bond."

Harris grinned that wicked little grin, and new that he would be out for certain. His prison guard buddies all had his back, and they would serve Olivia Benson with everything that was coming to her. Harris muttered something under his breath, and looked over at Casey Novak, hoping his glare would torment her impending prosecution against him.

Casey returned Lowell Harris' stare, smiled at the judge and walked out. Mason, Harris' lawyer, stopped her before she left the courtroom.

"Hello again, Miss Novak. Fancy meeting you here. Still running around for these useless detectives? I figured after law school you would be out doing real work, maybe partner somewhere. If you ever want to defend those who can successfully do their job without pissing it all away, then call me. I'm sure we can find some paperwork or something for you to do," Mason said sarcastically.

"Mason, you were a creep then and you are still a creep. And moreover, you are defending the epitome of the Devil. Lowell Harris is guilty and you know it. And the detectives I work for outshine his malicious ass anyday. I have more than enough to put him away into his silver years, without parole. See you in court," she said sternly, turning on her heel and walking out the door.

**(sorry it's so short! I don't know anything about trials so I'm trying to finish writing the actual "trial" part of the story!)**


End file.
